I will continue to edit and update this section, but in a nutshell, my name is Diane ~I'm an alcoholic and a cocaine addict. I took my first drink when I was 13 and was drinking on a regular basis by the time I was 16. I started messing around with cocaine when I was 22 briefly, and didn't touch it again until 4 years ago. Over the last 4 years of my life I have gone through a divorce, lost my grandmother, been in rehab twice, the most recent stay in December of 2005, and been to jail twice. The last year and few months have been a constent struggle for me to stay sober, and I just recently relapsed in July. I thought I was bigger than this disease and I was just reminded that I'm not.

I've tried drinking and using every way. Just drinking alcohol, just smoking pot, just drinking wine, only drinking on the weekends (yeah, that lasted 'til 'bout Wednesday), you name it~I tried it. I kept looking for that secret formula to keep my drinking and using under control, but never found it. What I did find was that my life had become unmanageable. I've wrecked my car, a couple of times, not including the scratches, dents..etc.. I've lost keys, cell phones, my bills were not getting paid, and when they were paid..they were paid by my mother. I couldn't hold a job and most of the time it wasn't because I was late or didn't show up..but it was my sick attitude. It was my mind telling me that everyone was doing me wrong and the world was out to get me,..poor me...so I would eventually find an excuse to quit. I have turned my children over to their dad while I put recovery first, my oldest daughter won't even talk to me, and I don't blame her.I've been to jail (again) recently. Yeah~ I guess you could say my life has become unmanagable.