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 Remembering Scott Today...
Posted on: 07/24/2007
Memories of Scott..
Red Carnations,
Heart to heart talks under the stars
Making faces at me
across a crowded room
to make me smile
Laughing blue eyes
Long bike rides going nowhere
French vanilla cappuccino
Gazing at clouds lying in the cool grass
Sharing an ice cold Diet Mountain Dew
Climbing up my balcony in the rain because
I lost my key
Big warm gentle bear hugs
Watching Lord of the Rings
over and over and over
Laughing that funny laugh
that always made me laugh
even through tears
The warmth in his voice
when he said"I love you my little one"
My Scott
My best friend
Everywhere I go
Everything I do
I see your face
hear your voice
feel your laughter
And realize how very much I miss you....
I love you Scott.
Scott Rayburn Pomeroy
2/23/67-7/23/04
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jejEr660QyE
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 My beautiful sweet Babygirl..
Posted on: 06/18/2007
My beautiful sweet little "Babygirl" doggy died in my arms yesterday...she gave 13 years of unconditional love during active addiction and recovery....my baby is gone but here in my heart she lives on...
I sat by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying. You found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
"It's me, I haven't left you, I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you in the morning, I watched you pour coffee,
You were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at my grave today, You tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that I'm not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house, as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you, I barked and said "It's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know, that I was sitting there.
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
in the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you...
I LOVE YOU.
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In memory of Robert
Posted on: 06/13/2007
I wrote this for my dear friend Robert who was shot and killed last Friday night by his ex-wife..he was 49 yrs old.He was my high school sweetheart 30 yrs ago and will always be here with me in my heart.....
It broke my heart to lose you,
But you did not go alone
Part of me went with you,
the day God called you home.
Over and over I've thought of you
Over and over I've cried
If loving could have saved you
You would have never died.....
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 Wonders of today..
Posted on: 05/08/2007
The first good news each day is that we wake up. We are breathing. Our hearts
are beating, our minds are working. The adventure of living begins. What does the
day hold in store? We have no way of knowing what wonders await us
today.
We may look forward, not just to the expected, but to the unexpected. Who
might we meet? What will we see? What will we learn? How will we be amused?
What changes to help others will come our way? What chances to love and be
loved?What beauty will our eyes behold?
Now that our eyes are opened to today's beauty, let us remain alert for new
sights. Let us cry when sad, smile when touched, and laugh at what is funny in a
whole new lifetime before us.
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 Dream GREATness...
Posted on: 04/03/2007
Have the courage to dream great dreams. You're worthy of greatness. You're capable of greatness. The priceless treasure that is your life positively obligates you to make something grand out of its moments, its days, its years.
When you focus on just getting by, that's the most you'll be able to do. Yet when you set your sights higher, when you dare to dream big dreams, when you make the effort to make a difference, those same moments you would have spent just getting by will bring you, and your world, so much more.
Once this day is over, you cannot go back and reclaim it. What a waste it would be if you failed to squeeze every last drop of living and joy and love and achievement from it. If your aim is to just get through the day, if your goal is to just get by, aim higher. You're spending the moments, so make them really count. Start right now to live the greatness you were born to live.
Somewhere out there on that horizon
Out beyond the neon lights
I know there must be somethin' better
but there's nowhere else in sight - Joe Walsh
Now maybe I didnt mean to treat you bad
But I did it anyway
And not maybe
Some would say your life was sad
But you lived it anyway
And now maybe
Your friends they stand beside they watch you crumble
As you falter to the ground
And now maybe
Your friends they stand beside as you were flying
Oh you were flying oh so high - Candlebox
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 Yay!!! I'm baaaaaaack!!!
Posted on: 03/22/2007
Whew! I just returned from an eight day trip to Winter Park, Florida. My son is doing great on his new meds and all is well in Shari's world once more.Had a wonderful time playing with my grandbabies and spent some time with my youngest son also. Thank you for all your support and prayers ,means alot to me. I love you guys!!! It was beautiful during my stay and I'm really looking forward to my move down there in August.My son just called me last night with some good news too-he's going back to Chrysler May 1st so things are looking up! Oh and I have a REAL tan!!! 
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 My baby boy..
Posted on: 03/04/2007
Right now I'm scared to death. I just got a call from my youngest son informing me my 26 yr. old son just had a heart attack. All I could think is God not Tommie...not my sweet baby boy... Please pray for him and his family. He has 4 young children who need him and a mom who would gladly take his place....
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 My baby boy..
Posted on: 03/04/2007
Right now I'm scared to death. I just got a call from my youngest son informing me my 26 yr. old son just had a heart attack. All I could think is God not Tommie...not my sweet baby boy... Please pray for him and his family. He has 4 young children who need him and a mom who would gladly take his place....
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 She LET GO...
Posted on: 01/27/2007
"She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go." She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the 'right' reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn't ask anyone for advice. She didn't read a book on how to let go... She didn't search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right. She didn't promise to let go. She didn't journal about it. She didn't write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn't check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go. She didn't analyze whether she should let go. She didn't call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn't do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn't call the prayer line. She didn't utter one word. She just let go. No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn't good and it wasn't bad. It was what it was, and it is just that. In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore."
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 Trust what you know..
Posted on: 01/03/2007
Trust yourself. Trust what you know.
Sometimes, it is hard to stand in our own truth and trust
what we know, especially when others would try to
convince us otherwise.
In these cases, others may be dealing with issues of guilt
and shame. They may have their own agenda. They may be
immersed in denial. They would like us to believe that we
do not know what we know; they would like us not to
trust ourselves; they would prefer to engage us in their
nonsense.
We don't have to forfeit our truth or our power to others.
That is codependency.
Believing lies is dangerous. When we stop trusting our
truth, when we repress our instincts, when we tell
ourselves there must be something wrong with us for feeling
what we feel or believing what we believe, we deal a deadly
blow to our self and our self esteem.
When we discount that important part of ourselves that
knows what is the truth, we cut ourselves off from our
center. We feel crazy. We get into shame, fear, and
confusion. We can't get our bearings .
This does not mean that we are never wrong. But we are
not always wrong.
Be open. Stand in our truth. Trust what you know.
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 For Kelly-
Posted on: 12/05/2006
For my VERY best friend Kelly..clean and serene once again-May the force be with you always- Acceptance of our past, acceptance of the conditions presently in our
lives that we cannot change, brings relief. It brings the peacefulness and serenity we so frantically seek.
We can put the past behind us. Each day is a brand new beginning for each of us. And everyday of abstinence gives us the chance to look ahead with hope. A
power greater than ourselves helped us to find what we needed to survive. That
power is ever with us. When we fear facing new situations, or when
familiar situations become unmanagable, we can look to that power for help in
saying what needs to be said and for doing what needs to be done. Our
higher power is as close as our breath. Conscious awareness of its
presence strengthens us, moment by moment.
The past is gone. Today is full of possibilities. May you take those possibilities my friend,and turn them into a positive reality. I am there for you always...
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 Gratitude
Posted on: 11/20/2006
Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and
more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, and confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
It turns problems into gifts, failures into successes, the unexpected into
perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. It can turn an existence
into a real life, and disconnected situations into important and beneficial
lessons. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates
a vision for tomorrow.
Gratitude makes things right.
Gratitude turns negative energy into positive energy. There is no situation or
circumstance so small or large that it is not susceptible to gratitude's power.
We can start with whom we are and what we have today, apply gratitude, then let
it work its magic.
Say thank you, until you mean it. if you say it long enough, you will believe
it.
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 Positively wonderful...
Posted on: 11/14/2006
We are wonderful, capable human beings worthy of love,friendship
and happiness. We all have a gift to give the world
that can never be duplicated by anyone else. No one else is exactly like us.
The problem is, we don't believe it. We are so used to
thinking about all our negative qualities that we become
expert at putting ourselves down. We have a very hard time
believing and accepting our own goodness and gifts.
When we have a negative attitude, only one person can
change it - us. We have the power to choose to change
our thinking - if we want to. It takes a courageous
person to risk getting positive and hopeful. Getting clean and/or
sober is evidence enough that we have that courage. Use it.
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 Simplicity-
Posted on: 11/09/2006
Bless the moment, trust yourself, and expect the
best. --Huna philosophy
Such great, simple advice. Yet many of us have a
hard time following simple advice. We're more
comfortable with complicated and confusing advice.
One reason is because we try to live in the past or
the future and we ignore the present. We predict
outcomes based on past events, old hurts, and fear.
When we live this way, the present is always
full of fear, waiting for disaster to strike us down. We can't trust
anyone, especially ourselves. So we jump back
and forth from the past to the future, worried and
afraid.
When we keep things simple, we let the present
moment just be. We don't need to compare or
predict. We need only be happy in the moment and live it
fully.
When we keep it simple we trust ourselves. We
trust what's in our heart. When we keep it simple
we can expect a good outcome without having to know
what it will be.
JUST FOR TODAY-YEAH!
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 I'll Never forget you my friend...
Posted on: 11/06/2006
I'll never forget you-My friend- Lee Dynda left us Monday October 30th,2006 Still sorting through all the memories...it just doesn't seem real to me quite yet. Everytime the phone rings I expect it to be good old sweet,caring Lee just calling to say hello or checking to make sure all is well with me.He was like that,you know,very caring and kind with a huge heart. He will be missed by many. I LOVE you my friend.... In my calm center, I find my peace. In my heart of hearts, I find my rest. Lee's profile ID#100658
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 Needy?
Posted on: 11/03/2006
We can find the balance between needing people too much and not letting
ourselves need anyone at all.
Many of us have unmet dependency needs lingering from the past. While we want
others to fulfill our desire to be loved unconditionally, we may have chosen
people who cannot, or will not, be there for us. Some of us are so needy from
not being loved that we drive people away by needing them too much.
Some of us go to the other extreme. We may have become used to people not
being there for us, so we push them away.(thats me.) We fight off our feelings of neediness
by becoming overly independent, not allowing ourselves to need anyone. Some of
us won't let people be there for us.
Either way, we are living out unfinished business. We deserve better. When we
change, our circumstances will change.
If we are too needy, we respond to that by accepting the needy part of us. We
let ourselves heal from the pain of past needs going unmet. We stop telling
ourselves we're unlovable because we haven't been loved the way we wanted and
needed.
If we have shut off the part of us that needs people, we become willing to
open up, be vulnerable, and let ourselves be loved. We let ourselves have needs.
We will get the love we need and desire when we begin to believe we're
lovable, and when we allow that to happen.
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 Tis Amazing...
Posted on: 10/20/2006
What you already know can be a great help to you in learning new things. Yet at
times, it can also get in the way.
It can be difficult to clearly and objectively see something when you think you
already know everything about it.Because, you will usually see only what
you expect to see and nothing else.
Think of all the details that you notice when you go to a place where
you've never been before. Then consider all the many details in your familiar
surroundings that you never even think about because you have seen them so
often.
The world is constantly changing. And some of your long-held assumptions about
the things most familiar to you could be very much outdated.
It's likely that there are many valuable treasures all around your life, hidden
and at the same time within plain sight. A good way to see them is to
temporarily disregard what you already know.
Every now and then, make it a point to look at the world with eyes unclouded by
expectations, assumptions or past experience. You'll be amazed at what you can
see.
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 Opening up...
Posted on: 10/16/2006
Learning to gently reveal who we are is how we open ourselves up to love and intimacy in our relationships.
Many of us have hidden under a protective shell, a casing that prevents others from seeing or hurting us. We do not want to be that vulnerable. We do not want to expose our thoughts, feelings, fears, weaknesses, and sometimes our strengths, to others.
We do not want others to see who we really are.
We may be afraid they might judge us, go away, or not like us. We may be uncertain that who we are is okay or exactly how we should reveal ourselves to others.
Being vulnerable can be frightening, especially if we have lived with people who abused, mistreated, manipulated, or did not appreciate us.
Little by little, we learn to take the risk of revealing ourselves. We disclose the real person within to others. We pick safe people, and we begin to disclose bits and pieces about ourselves.
Sometimes, out of fear, we may withhold, thinking that will help the relationship or will help others like us more. That is an illusion. Withholding who we are does not help the other person, the relationship, or us. Withholding is behavior that backfires. For true intimacy and closeness to exist, for us to love ourselves and be content in a relationship, we need to disclose who we are.
That does not mean we tell all to everyone at once. That can be a self-defeating behavior too. We can learn to trust ourselves, about who to tell, when to tell, where to tell, and how much to tell.
To trust that people will love and like us if we are exactly who we are is frightening. But it is the only way we can achieve what we want in relationships. To let go of our need to control others - their opinions, their feelings about us, or the course of the relationship - is the key.
Gently, like a flower, we can learn to open up. Like a flower, we will do that when the sun shines and there is warmth.
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 Better and better..
Posted on: 10/08/2006
If everything was perfect, there would be nothing left to do. If you had already
achieved and become everything you ever wanted, there would be nothing left for
you to look forward to experiencing in your life.
Thank God, things are not perfect, all the goals have not all been reached. There
is always room for improvement, and always some exciting possibility to move
you forward.
The problems, the imperfections, the challenges and setbacks make for a very
real, very positive possibility. It is that life can always get better and
better.
When you've worked with determination and commitment, and have finally reached the
goal, what's the next thing you want to do? You want to put all that hard-earned
experience to work again as quickly as possible on an even bigger goal.
Achieving would really be empty if it meant that you could never achieve
again. What a blessing it is that there's always more to be done.
Life is best when you're busy working on it. And it can just keep getting better
and better.
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 It will come back to you...
Posted on: 10/05/2006
Always act as if what you do will come back to you. Because in one way or
another, it will.
Freely give your love, kindness, compassion, value and understanding to life.
All those good things will grow in depth and magnitude, and then they will
return to you.
You may think at times that no one is watching, and that no one cares one way or
another what you do. Yet even when no one is watching, especially when no one is
watching, you are making a difference in the world.
And as time goes on, the gifts you give to life become magnified. They spread
far beyond you.
Eventually, they spread so far that they cannot help but come back to you. So be
sure to start each influence on its journey in the best, most positive way.
Live each moment as if the words you speak, the thoughts you think, and the
actions you undertake will come back to you.
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 The possibility of NOW
Posted on: 09/29/2006
Do you realize the incredible possibility of now? Whatever may have come before, NOW you can change it into anything you wish.
Whatever limitations may have held you back, now you have the opportunity to move past those limitations. Now, in this moment, you can act, you can learn, you can think, you can make a difference.
Now, you can change things. You can grow and improve on what already is.
You can create something that has never existed before. You can laugh and give joy to the magnificent beauty that surrounds you.
Now is when the wondrous treasures that live in your heart can find new and fresh expression. Now provides the space for you to give life to your dreams.
Now is where your whole life has come. Now is your place to wonderously and joyfully be.
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 Honesty
Posted on: 09/28/2006
The most precious gift we can give those closest to us is
honesty. Yet we often hide our true selves from friends,
fearing we won't be accepted or loved if we let them see the
real us. Often, we show parts of ourselves that hide who
we really are. We have often heard ourselves or others say,
"My parents would just die if...," or, "Don't argue in front
of the children."
If we hide too much behind false images, we run the risk of
losing track of what is real and what is false. We become
actors instead of real people, trying to please Aunt Jane, our
grandparents, our big brother, or our children.
When we conquer our fear of letting others in, we are able
to see ourselves honestly. When we discover that others
accept us as we are, we can accept and love ourselves. To
know oneself is to know a person of value.
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 No Title
Posted on: 09/24/2006
Not in a good frame of mind right now....doubts and distrust creeping up on me and my self esteem is at an all time low. I know I need a meeting but it was him or me and i believe that even though I'm having alot of crazy thoughts&feelings going on in my head right now,I'm strong enough not to act on them. He's a different story. I know thats not for me to judge but going on my gut feelings-he needs to be there. And no,I'm not playing the martyr-I'm actually protecting me,hoping that if he goes and shares his stuff,he'll get some insight on the situation and act accordingly. I've had enough pain from this relationship to last a lifetime and it's still neverending. Seems like it's never going to end unless of course I end it and I can't bring myself to do that. Because there's still the joyful times and the laughter going on ,something I've never truly experienced with a man before. I thought he was different,that he actually loved me for ME,and maybe he does. Maybe my thinking is way off but I see things now that I wasn't seeing before . I trusted him completely and he betrayed me,twice. I've tried so very hard to let that go but I can't close my eyes to the fact that little by little she's finding her way into our world,into our home. And he's not not stopping her.I sometimes believe he enjoys this,that it feeds his ego.And other times I hate myself for looking like a total fool. Tomorrow I may feel differently,see things a little more clearly.And today? Today,I'm going to hang on tight to my sanity,pray for serenity,and give my sponsor another call. Because I know I'll be okay no matter what tomorrow may bring..... Oh and homework:step eleven,step eleven,step eleven til it sinks in.... *SMILES*
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