The interview went pretty well. I should know something early next week. It will be good to know one way or the other. Stay tuned...

Well, it's been a while since I've updated this blog. Things have been busy at work, but that's not the main reason I haven't been around. I've been in a cold dark place for a few days but am starting to snap out of it. Having any expectations of anyone is very dangerous for me--and I've been lost in resentment about the fact that I cannot have any expectations of even my husband...

The main reason I'm doing a little better today is, ironically, because of him...he and I attended a support group at the cancer wellness center last night (he's been in remission for almost a year). It will focus on spirituality, one of my greatest interests...it helps to not feel so alone. Wished more spouses/caregivers had been there, I was the only one...but that's OK.

Will post again...thanks for listening...

My husband takes the afternoon off (not an easy thing to do) to wait for the plumber, who has to lift the toilet up and fix a leak that's seeping into our carpet in the hallway, next to the bathroom. The plumber was supposed to show up at 1PM, it's now 3:22PM and he's not there yet. I just called, he apologized profusely and said he had an emergency come up, that he'll be there in another hour. We were supposed to go out to dinner with friends tonight but there goes that. Arrrgh!

OK, rant over. I feel better now.     Thanks for listening!

Oh to have these kinds of "problems" all the time!!!

...because I will be interviewing for my dream job next week! I like the job I have now, but my dream job--Academic Advisor for the continuing education department at the university in the town that we're moving to--is now open and I have to go for it. My husband is applying for his pension--so all of this may be happening very quickly now--after a long time of "hurry up and wait..."

Stay tuned...

...what to do next. I'm so tired of being in transition! My husband is now thinking about retiring, I have a job interview next thursday, and all the time knowing that we have to sell our condo. Financially, we can't afford to own two places...both of us work for not-for-profits (by choice--we never planned to own two houses at once!) yikes!

I know, maybe you'd like have these kinds of problems. I really should work on a list of the things I'm grateful for. I should be grateful that I have a decent job, that Dave has a decent job, that the mortgage has been paid this month, that the property taxes have been paid on two places, that I've just gotten an interview for what sounds like my dream job, and that Dave--whose cancer treatment took a lot out of him--is thinking about retiring from full-time work. Which once we sell our place in Chicagoland, he can afford to do.

Really, I have no right to complain--but again, it's all about not being in complete control of everything. Especially the money. Oh goddess, the money! Will we have enough to pay next month's bills, can I keep the checking account from bouncing, can I, can I, can I...and every month, it seems to work out OK. Why do I worry about this? I certainly learned how to worry from my family...they were always worrying about money, and I didn't have cool clothes like my classmates, I didn't get to watch on TV what everyone else was watching because we only had one TV and of course, we were only permitted to watch what my dad wanted to watch...and as I type this, it starts to make more and more sense, why I'm always worrying about money.

Then, there's Dave and his money issues, but they are his and these, above, are mine.

Whew...thanks for listening!

Good afternoon everyone who stumbles across my blog. I am glad to be here and am looking forward to communicating with many of you. Having been in and out of Al-Anon for over 10 years, I have come to believe that my place at this time is in OA. This past weekend, I went to my very first OA meeting. It was a revelation. I believe that this is where I need to be! I'll go into more of my story in later postings.

But first, a few demographics.

I am 48 years old, married to a great guy, living in the midwest.

I work at an elite university, also in the midwest.

My husband plans to retire in 1-2 years and we will be moving to a much smaller city in the same state (actually, it's the place where he grew up).

Most excitedly (at the moment, anyway) I just got my bicycle fixed and rode to work today. Yee-haw!

I will be back here with more postings. It's critical for me to come out of hiding. I hope that what I have to say in this blog will help some of you. I suspect, however, that you'll be helping me a great deal more.

Thanks for reading this far...I'll be back soon!