"If at the end"

I wonder how I add up in the scheme of things,
If at the end of life they'll remember my name.

If everyone i know will all feel the same,
If some will cast blame and some be ashamed.

Is it common to have not staked my claim.

I've played games and its time for a change,
To forget my pain and self sustain.

Not let my brain get en flamed,
get my life rearranged.

So I can feel sane.

I want to be remembered,
for smiles in bad weather.

For my love to be a shelter,
in the worst of life's endeavors.

For peace to be within,
to be clean from all my sins.

To be known because i win,
life's battle's with a grin.

So let me be right,
with the wisest of insight.

To be a guiding light,
For those lost in the night.

Please,
let me lead despite,
the past troubles of my life.

And humble myself in all other mens sight.

                                                          21stCentury Poet