Well, I haven't been on in awhile, ya know, life gets busy and things get behind and this is just another shining example of that!  I just wanted to say a few words and then I'm off to school for a final, EWWWWW!
    I have had so many things happen in my life since the New Year and it just keeps coming on strong!  Let's start with the statement that this is not a gripe blog, rather, it is just a way of letting you know that life is just what it is, life.  Many things happen in our lives that can make the difference of staying clean or using.  You know what I mean, hospitalizations, accidents, kids being deathly ill, breaking a nail, all things that can just set us on fire!  I'm here to say that you never have to use again over anything.
    I have gone through the new year with deaths in my family and circle of frineds, given custody of a 1 year old baby, been in the hospital with that child for 8 days while the doctors decided what type of infection she had eating her flesh, seeing my daughter lose her job and find a new one, all kinds of things that life just throws your way , but the best part of it all is I knew where to go to get the understanding of what I was going through and support I needed to stay clean.  I was able to chose to stay clean rather than use the excuse of, "Look what I am going through, you'd use too!"  I had so many doctors offering something , "to help me through it" that I could puke!  I am so thankful to this program, but mostly to my higher power to give me true strength and courage to get through.  I didn't need courage in a pill or drink, I had the real deal, my support and strength in unity of my group! 
    I want to encourage anyone who is going through hard or tough times to think about who you are and the energy and tonasity to use so much and turn that into helping yourself stay clean.  You have it within you, just reach in and use what you have to stay clean.  It is a choice, it is life on life's terms, but with your group, your sponsor, and what you already know, you don't have to give in to the easy way out.  It really isn't that easy, especially if you get caught, so lighten up on yourself and use that experience, strength and hope that others can share with you to fill that space and move on with your life, clean and free!