Last night when I went to the meeting I was filled with such gratitude. Our topic was on the newcomer. There were a lot of new faces, which I always love to see. However last night my gratitude came from seeing a few faces I haven't seen in awhile. One a young girl who I had been thinking of lately and the other person I hadn't seen in almost seven years. When I came back into the rooms I often went home to see the people who helped save my life the first time. I had not seen this person and often wondered what happened to him. Worrying as we often do about those who we care about, to afraid to ask. Slowly God is revealing to me that I should have less fear and more faith. Turns out this person is doing well and has found a new home just as I have. It felt really good to see someone from my past. It also helped me to have more faith. My life has gotten so busy lately. I have made a commitment to home school my children and this last week was our first week of classes. My youngest starts preschool this week. I really can't wait, this will give me a chance to focus on the new school year with my older daughter. She has ADHD and ODD. It has not been easy helping her to stay on task. Last night was just another reminder to me to trust God and to have faith in all areas of my life. I love the fact the being in the program and working the steps allows me to really be there for my children. It feels so good knowing what I want out of life and having the courage to strive for it. I know its not going to be easy, what worth having ever is? It feels so good to be living a "normal" life. Girl Scouts, gymnastics, homeschooling, preschool, cleaning my house, going to meeting, service work, taking care of myself, setting healthy boundaries, being honest, maintaining my spiritual life, just everyday things, who would have ever thought this addict would be able to live such a full and wonderful life. Living life on life's terms instead of Sherri's terms. I'm not trying to say that life is perfect, I still have my ups and downs. As I have heard over and over in the rooms my worst day clean is still better then my best day using! Today I am truly grateful for the life I have and my HP which made it all possible. My attitude and my gratitude speaks when I care and I share the NA way. Keep coming back, just for today I will.

Peace and Love,

Sherri 

Some day my experience with service is far from good. On Monday night I went to a local counseling service where I have taken an H&I meeting for the past year. When I got there they were surprized to see me. It seems they have been making some changes. Staffing has changed, one of there two offices is now closed til further notice, and they no longer want to support NA by bringing one of our meetings into their facility. The new counselor who is running the out patient group we held the meeting in says that NA does not fit into what she is trying to teach her group. This is a drug and alcohol group. Why she would not want to teach them about the importance of the program is beyond me. I never will understand these so called "normal" people. I am so grateful for the rooms. I feel that if it were not for the rooms I would either be dead or wish I was. I tried to explain through my experience strength and hope that without the rooms I would just be out using again. This is my second time around and it was only when I gave up on the rooms the first time that I relapsed. NA and AA have taught me how to truely live my life without picking up. I have learned to deal with my emotions and my past. Not perfectly mind you, however if I stop doing the things I was taught then I know the outcome. I have learned to deal with people and situations in my life, no matter how difficult. I can live through anything if I don't use. I have been blessed with many things due to the program. I have an open and honest relationship with my children and everyone else around me. I am learning how to have healthy relationships. To set healthy boundries, and even to say no. I was never good at either of these. I am learning how to love, first myself and then others. When I got off probation I found that being on probation no longer bothered me because I have gotten better at following the law. I have stopped playing the victum, and I try to live in the solution not the problem. I have gained so much from coming to the rooms I could write about it all night. It is because of this that it is so frustrating to hear that suffering addicts and alcoholics will not be getting the same message I did. I shared this at the meeting the other night and afterwards a member informed me that these changes are going to be short lived, because those who are making the changes are on there way out. The facility sees the importance of 12 step programs and wants to include and incorage their clients to seek them. I felt a little bit better after learning this, however my heart still goes out to those that my miss the message til things change again. I went to the facility during one of their scheduled breaks and handed out meeting lists. I'm not sure they were really happy about this. Oh well I feel in my heart that I did the right thing, and it did make me feel better knowing that they still have a chance to find the same freedom I have right here, at home in the rooms of our 12 step fellowships! I will keep coming back and pray that they will too.

Peace and Love,

Sherri