Okay this one is proofread and updated lol I sounded illiterate when I posted the other bulletin this morning. I was tired and didn't proofread before hitting send.

Sorry everyone I am a day behind. My Son Lee was released from the hospital November 1st, Thursday afternoon. My Mom and Step Dad drove up to Belton for the last family therapy meeting and then Lee went home with them. I was unable to attend yet again because I have been really sick on the Interferon for my Hepatitis C.

The good news is that even though Medicaid Texas State welfare insurance that my son is on through my disability with my back injury 7 years ago, denied his 30 day residential hospitalization there at Cedar Creek Hospital where he was just released from yesterday, he was approved for part time hospitalization for a period of a few weeks which can be extended if we feel he needs it and Medicaid approves.

This means he will go to The Oaks here in Austin (which is actually about 4 blocks from my apartment, so if Lee got out at 4 and wanted to walk to my apt he could, until my Mom got off work at 5 to come pick him up and take him to her house). He will go to school at The Oaks during the day and have individual therapy and group therapy every day in a controlled setting at the Oaks Hospital which is inpatient and outpatient for kids. They will be able to monitor him there on how he is doing on his medications and address some of the behavioral issues as well that Lee has been displaying. He has also gotten behind in school and I am hoping while there at least for a few weeks he can get caught up some. He is very overwhelmed with the schoolwork and the switch from going from elementary school to middle school this year. I hope Medicaid approves it for more then a few weeks but I am just grateful at this point that they approved it at all. One thing at a time...right?

I am relieved. I think this will help him greatly. He is stating that he is not seeing anything right now and hasn't in the past few days so maybe the Lithium they have him on and have gotten him stabilized on now is working. His blood levels are where they are supposed to be now on the Lithium. His Thyroid was out of a whack from the test we got back but we have to wait and check it again in three weeks. If it is still abnormal then he will have to take thyroid medication as well. They took him off his Strattera ADHD medication because they said it was making him more manic and that is when the hallucinations are the worse for kids that have bi-polar disorder and it certainly was for him although a lot of the time he hallucinated he was not in a manic phase. We however need to find something for his ADHD because he literally cannot sit still or focus. I hate it that my son has to take all this medication but we have tried several homeopathic things with Lee this last summer and he responds for a few weeks and then crashes, insurance won't pay for it and it's very expensive!

I am still praying that they get his medications right so that he can function and prosper like any other 11 almost 12 year old boy (he will be 12 on January the 12th). Such a weird age to be huh? It was so confusing for me at that age. My body was changing etc. My Son is definitely having all that going on as well as awkwardness and anxiety in him now when he is around girls. He never had that before, now he is much more cautious, checks his appearance and mine lol before he will go anywhere where he might meet or see a girl he knows by chance or be around girls period. Soooo puberty on top of all the other stuff going on with my young son is just complicating it and making it more intense for him right now.

Thank you all again so much for your emails, kind comments and encouragement. I was not able to respond to everyone individually but I want you all to know I read every single email I got on here, myspace, The Strong Womens Group and other Recovery Groups I am on. I appreciate you all being here for me as I go through my process. It has been really rough but I know I am not alone. Thank You ALL for that !!!!!!!

It has been comforting for me to know that nothing now that I will experience in my life will I ever be alone again in. Someone, somewhere has walked through it and stayed clean and can share their experience, strength and hope with me, which many of you have already. Even those that have not experienced what my son, me or my family are having to deal with have been a huge comfort to me as well. Just knowing you are there for us has been a tremendous relief and comfort too.

I have to say this and I never thought I would be a woman that would end up saying this lol so copy it. The WOMEN especially in my life today have been CRUCIAL for me in my Recovery. I always disliked women before because I ran with men, did dope with men, committed crime with men and hung out with men my entire life. Mostly the ex con biker dope fiend dude types. Women never had anything I wanted and I could not manipulate or con them the way I could men. I know that sounds harsh but for me it was my MO for a long, long time.

The women in my life today have saved my fuckin LIFE!!! I truly mean that. They have called me on my shit and confronted my behavior when no man ever would. They have continued to love me until I could start loving myself. I am still trying to figure out who KAREN IS and what I am okay with and what I am not okay with today.......especially in the sex and men area of my life. I have never been one of those touchy feely type of women or a real girly girl type either. I despised stripper, hooker type women but knew a lot of the time they had the best dope and dealers so I befriended them only for those reasons. I have discovered that I am soft in a lot more ways then one and that it is okay for me to show that part of myself today even though for me it is still hard for me to do a lot of the time. Even people in my life that do not agree with my philosophies in the sex or man area of my life today still let me be where I am in my process. For the ones that don't and feel they need to judge and point fingers.....fuck em !!!!!!! Seriously I don't need people like that in my life anyway. This is MY JOURNEY and no one else's anyway.

The mental illness issues in my life for my boy will be an ongoing journey for me, my son and my family. So I will keep all posted on here from time to time how Lee is coping with the whole thing. He will be attending the partial hospitalization on Monday, November 5th.

Hugs,

Karen C.
11/20/02

Addict In Austin Texas
Homegroup Recovery South
CTANA