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Happy and Sad
Posted on: 06/13/2007
So I am pretty crazy right now. In 8 days I will have four years. It blows my mined. I never thought that( just for today) I would be here. My life has changed so much. I work two jobs both part time. Have two beautiful kids. I am in a pretty good relationship with my boyfriend of 7 years. I have a relationship with my sponsor and my sponsorship family. I am working the steps to the best of my ability. I'm on step nine. Have a relationship with my family. I love them for them and not what they can do for me. So I am just kind of taking a look at what life use to be compared to today. I was crying on my way to work because I have a very dear friend of mine getting high after five years clean. I drive by her house everyday on my way to work and today her car wasn't there and it made me sad. I called her today and of course no answer and it freaks me out. So I said I hope that you are not dead. That is when I lost it. The reality is she has an ego and that is what is and will keep her out. I really hope that we don't have to bury her. I am keeping her in my prayers and I call her at least twice a week. Get as honest as you can no matter what it is. Secrets keep you sick and that is what took her out. She did everything but tell one little secret. So maybe people can look at this a change something so that they don't have to get high, relapse is not a requirement. So I am all emotional because life is different now, good but different. I hope that everyone that reads this will make there day a blessed day. Remember that every clean day is a successful day no matter what.
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